Teen Titans Crash Smallville...

or, my probing expose into the lack of continuity on the WB.

Remember how last week Chloe decided that she was actually 12, and not 5, when her mother took off for the ACME Water Tower (read: Loony Tunes Bin, scratch out Tunes). Well, this week is more of the same type of writing.

Clark and Lana decided to take a break, and its not even like the break Ross and Rachel were on... its more like today I hate you, but we can still be together.

That nonesense aside, we get Martha being set up by Luthor- yep, I think he set up the fake bribe so that he could swoop in and play the savior. Hate him, and hate the writers for making Martha so gullible to the whims of Luthor now that Jonathan is gone.

Then there is Cyborg, or Victor Stone, who is half man, half machine and running for his life. I thought is was kind of funny that he was escaping from the Public Storage facility. Now I know where to have the film shoot for my next action film- just make sure that they paint the doors white instead of orange, and instant set!

I love me some Jett Jackson, but even being "up there" on a scale of one to Taye Diggs, he couldn't save the show. The aforementioned comment from Chloe was actually funny, because Taye Diggs does prefer blondes... N-E-Way...

The coolest part of the show was Clark scanning Victor- the Cyborg skull was a nice shout out to the Titans. BUT it seems a little strange that Victor knows so much about his bionics. Couldn't they have found a name for the company that was easier for the cast to say? Cyntennetics... Cythenetics... whatever.

For this to be the story of young Superman's journey to the legend, and the story of the creation of the rift between he and Luthor- the writers are doing a poor job of following through on the promise. Nothing is explained! While the views get to see all the stuff Luthor does in the background, we don't have any evidence of Clark learning about it. So, with nothing to found his accusations, Clark always barges into Lex's office with an attitude. It's so far-fetched. I haven't seen anything substantial to underly Clark's mistrust of Lex since the whole researching-my-family stint, and since they supposedly made up since then, there's nothing there! It's kind of like the Clark and Lana fiasco. I love because I have stalked you forever. Then to Lex: I hate you because... um...line?


Who is going to explain the grease stains on Lois's clark when she returns from her unknown trip to who knows where? Oh well, at least Lana did the dishes before she left.

Overall, I'm not sure why Smallville can't release their focus on cool points and get into storytelling. Sure the graphics are nice, and the anvils (read: foreshadowing) when kept to a minimum is ironic... but I would really like to have some substance to go along with the eye candy. Give me some content and continuity people! I'm begging you!

At the end of the adventure, we get Clark giving his pay it forward speech to Victor. Um, no. The hero line falls short with me. Clark hasn't really done anything to prove that he's exalt worthy. After his talk with Lex, he comes and swaggers over to Victor like he told Lex to stay away or else. That's not really what I got from the conversation, but whatever. You da man, CK, you is da man.

To make a bad thing worse, Clark tells Lana that he wuvs her and always will, no matter what. I don't even want to go there with the writers. Quit it with the hipocracy, would you?! Please make this boy grow up. VIctor had more sense than him. Perhaps the hero talk should have been reversed.

So, Lionel remembers what the crazy Kryptonian eyeball was telling him back when he was a registered guest at the ACME Watertower. "You're secret is safe with me, Kal El." Hmm... kneel before Zod? This crazy man is channeling evil, and he wants some of that Martha Kent home cooking. Exit stage left.

I could go on, but I won't, because there has got to be something else I can watch! I knew I should have taken the blue pill!

And I'm back...

And, boy, do I have a lot to make up for. Today's rant brought to you by Days of Our Lives.

A lot has happened since New Years Eve. Zach Brady was hit by a car, driven by his newly discovered sister, Chelsea. While the storyline has shown awesome acting by Kristan Alfonso and Peter Reckell, I am sooo tired of the other players in this game. Billie- well, I haven't liked her since the whole Carly buried alive thing, but I really want her to move on and leave Bo alone. Georgia/Chelsea - according to the show history, she died! Now she's just a tool to cause trouble for supercouple Bo and Hope. Not happy with that.

Let's see... what else is happening in Salem? Well, there's the whole who's the daddy storyline with Belle, Phillip, Shawn & Mimi. Actually, we know who the daddy is (Shawn) but he doesn't know. There always has to be a parental issue is Soaps- it's just one of those mad lib type storylines. Insert character name here, and instant plot! I never enjoyed Belle & Shawn together. I think he needs an action figure girlfriend to compare with Hope. She was never the fancy, break a nail type. That being said, I'm not overly enthused with Mimi either. I was really hoping that the writer's would bring a new character on for Shawn's attentions, but that's asking too much, guess.

I was happy to see Austin & Carrie come back, but it is too farfetched for Sami & Lucas to go scheming on getting those two for themselves. That is going too far. They need to grow up- their kid acts older than them, for Pete's sake.

John & Marlena- big yawn. My biggest wish for soap operas is to speed up their storylines. They tend to drag them out forever, keeping secrets hidden until they think the audience forgets what happened... but we never do. We just get bored and only tune in when something is going to change. Read the blog over at http://theearlyedition.blogspot.com and you'll never waste your time!

Ok- that's a wrap for the Salem 500. More tv goodness tomorrow~